Urinetown Auditions

Auditions are Saturday, September 9 from 9-5.. There is a sign-up sheet on the drama room door. You will sign up for a 1 hour block. If you absolutely cannot make it that Saturday, please talk to me. Callbacks will be Monday, Sept. 11. Please read all of the following below in order to prepare for the audition.

  • Read the script: Urinetown You should know what you are auditioning for and should be familiar with the main characters.
  • Listen to the soundtrack! You can find it on youtube.
  • You should prepare 1 minute of a song. Your song must have a backing track – preferably on youtube (we need to know that you can stay in tune with the band).
  • You should act your song. If you just stand there and sing without emotion, you will not be cast. Take risks!
  • You should memorize and prepare one of the monologues below. Read the script to know what the characters are like.
  • You should be prepared to read scenes from the script.

Please see me or Ms. Potter if you have any questions.


Well, hello there.  And welcome – to Urinetown! Not the place, of course. The musical. Urinetown “the place” is… well, it’s a place you’ll hear people referring to a lot throughout the show. It’s kind of a mythical place, you understand. A bad place. A place you won’t see until Act T wo. And then…? Well, let’s just say it’s filled with symbolism and things like that. But Urinetown “the musical,” well, here we are.  Welcome.  It takes place in a town like

any town…that you might find in a musical. This here’s the first setting for the show. As the sign says it’s a “public amenity,” meaning public toilet. These people have been waiting for hours to get in; it’s the only amenity they can afford to get into.



Quiet back there! No one’s gettin’ anywhere for free! Don’t you think I have bills of my own to pay?!  Don’t you think I have taxes and tariffs and payoffs to meet too?!  Well, I do! And I don’t pay them with promises, see. I pay them with cash! Cold hard cash. Every morning you all come here. And every morning some of you got reasons why ya ain’t gonna pay. And I’m here to tell ya, ya is gonna pay!



Well, that’s absolutely right, Hope dear, absolutely right. For you see, ladies and gentlemen, twenty years ago we came to the people of this community with a simple proposition: Look the other way while we run this company the way we see fit, and we will keep the pee off the street and the water in the ground. Hope here has come to join our little operation, to help us keep that promise, so promise me you’ll treat her like the Cladwell she is, for one day she may be standing in the shoes you see me wearing today, the shoes I wore when I made that promise those many years ago.



And so with this piece of paper the UGC awards Amenity Number Nine the first of our new and entirely legal fee hikes, which we hope you all will honor and enjoy. Of  course  ,  no one knows  better than  the good  people  at  Urine  Good  Company  how difficult times are, but research into findmg the long -term solutions we need is expensive. So, for the time being, our decision is firm and we look forward  to going  to  Rio with  our new profits. I mean, we look forward to finding lasting solutions…and things like that. Good luck, Ms. Pennywise, see you in…well, you know where.



Sure, Mister Cladwell, that’s what you’ve been saying for twenty years. And for twenty years we’ve waited for the long-term solutions that never came. Well, we’re done waiting, you see, for a new day has dawned today. A day of hope and happiness when the idea of human dignity is more than  just a forgotten  notion but a living, breathing reality. A day- this day – when the people pee for free, because the people are free!




I say five more seconds and then we let her have the rope.  Five…Four…Three, two, one! That’s it, she gets the rope. Why not?! Whaddaya think they talk about in those quorums they got up there – how good we are?! So listen up, now! Any second those cops are gonna bust in here and bust us up like a bunch of overripe cantaloupes! So I say as long as our juice has gotta spill – all over this floor, here – her juice has gotta spill, too! Cladwell juice! Then we’ll see who’s better than who.



Do you remember the Stink Years, Mister Strong? The first years when the water table started to  drop and then  just kept on dropping?   No one thought they had much time then, and many of us did…questionable things, much like the things that are happening right now. There was the looting, of course, and the hoarding. Riots broke out like there was no tomorrow, for there was no tomorrow, but there is always a tomorrow if you’re tough enough  to cling to it.  Which is why I’ve asked you here tonight. Some people see me as an….evil man. But the truth is, I’m no more evil than you or Ms. Pennywise or any of those poor people you insist on trying to lead.  I’m  only a simple man trying to cling to tomorrow.  Every day.  By any means necessary.



My heart is telling me many things right now, as you can all well imagine . But one thing it’s bellowing louder than anything else is that when there’s wrong in the world we must right it. You did a wonderful thing by coming here, Ms. Pennywise.  Mom.  And if you can reform yourself, maybe we can reform a lot more than we know. Ladies and gentlemen of the rebellion, if you want to do to me what they did to Bobby, I wouldn’t blame  you. But if this righteous rebellion were to peter out in Bobby’s absence, sending his memory to oblivion, I would blame you. All of you! Kill me and the rebellion dies with me. Let me lead you and the rebellion will triumph!



Now is the beginning for all of us. Now is a new day when each of us, regardless of race, creed, class, or criminal history, can come together as one people and share the fruits of our labor as one. Now is the dawning of a new age of compassion and the right to do whatever you like, whenever you like, with whomever you like, in whatever location you like. Ladies and gentleman, today marks the final day of an age of fear, an age that lasted far too long.  Today marks the first day of a new age! A new age of hope!

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